Michael and I can simply see that we need to change something in our lives. It can't go on like this. I own a boutique and he works in IT. We have two children. Melanie is now 3 years old and Felix is 13 months. My parents can't manage it, and Michael's parents live 90 miles away. Somehow we both have the feeling that they're happy to come and help, but not as regularly and not the way I'd like it done.

I need reliability, so I'm toying with the idea of an au pair. In that context, we're currently doing research online: what does the cost of an au pair look like? We have the space. Our house has six rooms and about 2,500 sq ft in total. There's room for an au pair. There would be no au pair cost for a separate apartment.

How High Is the Actual Cost of an Au Pair?

There are various examples online of roughly what au pair costs look like. I'm a bit skeptical here. Sure, the usual insurance comes up, and the pocket money. But in the end, an au pair is also a member of the family from the moment she arrives. If we go somewhere, the au pair comes along. The au pair costs would certainly stretch the monthly household budget. So far, however, we've had no costs at all for looking after our children.

What advantages would we have:

  • Independence from the grandparents' calendars
  • the au pair lives in the house
  • helps with the housework
  • can take some of the organizing off my plate
  • the children may no longer have a rotating cast of babysitters


But how does it feel to have a stranger living in the household with us?

Au pair cost

An Au Pair Is a Longer-Term Decision

What we want to avoid is a revolving door of au pairs for the children. If we go down this road, an au pair should come to us for at least 1.5 to 3 years. Is that even possible? We need a lot more information. We're finding that the deeper we get into the topic, the more questions we have.

It would be wonderful to get that kind of relief, but might we then end up with a third child? Who can guarantee it will work out? The reports online vary a lot, but most draw a positive conclusion.

The grandparents on both sides are rather skeptical. A total stranger in the house. They can't picture it at all. Just trying it for a month isn't possible. We'll sleep on it for many more nights, and yet the direction is already clear.